By Stinky Pete
Woody, I know you tried your hardest
to mess things up for me.
You gave me to a fledgling artist
then laughed for all to see.
But here’s the scoop for Andy’s toys
(WHO SEEM TO HATE MUSEUMS??):
make-up and hair’s also for boys!
I wish that you could see ’em.
There’s Stu, the fluffy polar bear,
whose fur has been dyed pink.
And Barbie’s boyfriend plaits my beard;
it really makes you think.
I’ve had a blast in Amy’s room –
it suits me here, you see.
Just wanted all of you to know
you’ve got no friend in me.
P.S. I STILL MAINTAIN THAT JAPAN WOULD’VE BEEN GREAT BUT WHATEVER.