HELLO FRIENDS! Acquaintances and enemies welcome too, I guess. I am writing this on Friday the 13th, a day that is supposed to be ~slightly scary~ for reasons I'm unsure of. Perhaps I will Google it when I finish this blog post, PERHAPS I WON'T. Such is the kooky spooky nature of this sacred day. … Continue reading HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE: A FLAWED GUIDE BY YOURS TRULY
YOU GUYS, THE SUN IS OUT. The sky is blue and it's sort-of-warm and the palm tree I told you about is waving its leaves around like it lives in Spain. Even my palm tree is excited. I can tell it wants an ice cream. But generally it prefers sorbet, and its favourite flavour is … Continue reading THESE ARE NOT JUST HOVERFLIES
HELLO FRIENDS. A while back I said I might write about my cat, but the other day I realised I have not mentioned him, as of yet. I feel like it is important to tell you that this cat isn’t actually alive anymore, and I don’t mean that in a morbid way but really because … Continue reading MR. TIGGS THE CAT
Today I have no energy to do anything, largely because I keep sniffing and sneezing and my back aches and I’m just really Not Very Well. I’ve done that thing where you keep using the same tissue for hours on end in an ‘am I lazy or just the least wasteful person ever’ kind of … Continue reading STILL ILL, SAY CHEESE
A bite to eat (Twee and terrible. Plus, just a bite? Sounds rubbish. I will not join you for a bite to eat. I will join you for a lot to eat) Amazeballs (Luckily hardly anyone says this anymore. Why they ever did in the first place is beyond me. What does it mean? Where did … Continue reading WORDS AND TERMS THAT I DETEST
Canteen man has a lunchbox. It is plastic: grey Or brown. It doesn’t make him happy And it doesn’t make him frown; it just IS (full of sandwiches) and lunches are okay. There’s nothing bad about them but there’s nothing that would say THIS IS FUN Because it isn’t And that isn’t what I like. … Continue reading KIDS GROWN UP
